Hey Dad,

I'm 40 now. Please stop treating me like I'm 10.

I'd love to say that to my dad. I can't. He won't listen. I used to take it quite offensively, but now not so much. Oh, I still do at times, but then I look at his sisters. They treat their kids as if they're 10 as well.

They've told me the story that when they were kids, my grandmother [who I never knew] would make sure that the kids sat around the living room and not make a sound if there was a storm. They say that it was out of "respect for the Lord." I say it was out of some OCD control issue. Grandma probably thought if they were all together and quiet, then the storm couldn't sneak in through the window or an open door.

You see, I used to think that dad thought I was too stupid to do anything. He also, treated my sister, my mom, my aunts, my cousins, friends, neighbors, fellow church members, complete strangers, people on the news, etc like that.

Here's what he does: Let's say that you are making a sandwich. He'll say, "Let me show you a different way to make that." or maybe "Don't make that kind...make this kind." In other words, everyone needs his 2 cents worth.

Now I know that this is dad's problem. He has control issues. He may even have OCD [Obsessive CONTROL Disorder]. In fact, there's a lady in my church w/ the same thing. I try to avoid being around her. In fact, in Sept of this year, I'm going on a retreat w/ the church. I hope she doesn't go. If she does, I may not make it back w/ my sanity.

I have a job interview on Monday March 23 at 130. I hope to get the job. I am 99.9% sure that dad will try to talk me out of it. Not really, talk, more like browbeat me out of it. Why? Because it's not an IT job and supposedly that's what I want. Right now, I'm studying IT and I'm not sure it's for me. That doesn't matter to him...IT is "practical". Therefore, I am to want to do it.

My thinking is this...if I get the job; it pays $13/hour to start and $14/hr after 90 days. That's more than the $11/hr I was making. I can move into IT later, or maybe even into the IT dept at this place.


Another thing, dad thinks I should live at home pretty much forever. Not just live here, but have a deep desire to do so. He has it all planned out, when he dies, I'll keep living here and rent out a room to someone. He's even "suggested" to whom.,

You see, dad has a deep need to fix things even if they're not broken. Funny, but true story: A few weeks ago, he changed the locks on our doors. After he gave me a key, he went out and had some spares made. He came out, told me to come into the kitchen and to give him the key he'd given me a day or so before. The reason? When he went to have the spares made, he saw that they had bright orange and purple Clemson keys.

Now, I do NOT like football. I do not watch it, I do not keep up w/ it. So why did he have a bright orange and purple Clemson key made? He saw a bright orange and purple key and suddenly he saw a solution that needed a problem. The fact that it was Clemson was not a factor. He invented a problem. That problem being that I apparently spend hours on the porch trying to figure out which key opens the front door. The solution: A bright orange and purple key.

For the record: I ONLY HAVE TWO KEYS ON MY KEY RING!!!!! My car key and my house key. I have never stood on the front porch trying to solve the dilemma of which key opens the door. In fact, I can close my eyes and still find it.


It's not that dad thinks that I'm dumb. It's that he has this dysfunctional need to fix things. Therefore, if I get this job, he'll immediately see a broken situation that needs his "Mr. Fixit" prowess.

I'd love to tell him to stop, but he won't. He won't because he is just convinced that he needs to do this anyway.

All I can do is laugh, love and live.